Empathetic Marketing: 3 Radical Truths
If you google “Empathetic Marketing” right this second, you’ll find that the search volume is incredibly low. Furthermore, you’ll find that the only people posting it have somewhat manipulative ways of employing empathy with the primary intent to sell their services. (And if you don’t, that will have meant this article was more successful than I anticipated, so that’s good.)
I recently blogged about the somewhat controversial Coinbase Super Bowl ad and it popped off a bit on Medium. And while I’m obsessed with the way people communicate with one another- especially in business- my intention behind writing about it goes a bit deeper than fan-girling over a QR code. I wrote because I finally saw a big-time business walking the walk of empathy and doing so on one of the world’s largest stages.
But Becky, who are you and why do you care so much about this?
Great question. While I could entertain you with my life story (it’s a real hoot, I promise) I’ll simply say that the lack of empathy in the world at large has hurt me. As such, I’ve made it a personal mission of mine to do something differently.
And now, for you today, allow me to unpack some of my deepest trauma for you to reflect on what the world could look like if you cared about it too. So here are some radical truths that we can all begin to accept once we embrace empathetic marketing.
Fat People Aren’t Broken
I think the first time someone told me I was fat and meant it as an insult was in the 4th grade. I was 10 years old and some part of our society thought it would be a great idea to make me hate my body. I know I’m not alone in this- this is a fat person’s universal truth. If you’re fat, society makes you think you’re wrong for being fat. We’re taught from an early age that being bigger than other people is a problem that needs to be fixed.
Every time I see a Weight Watchers ad (their manipulative “WW” rebrand isn’t fooling anyone), my whole body tenses about all the points I should be counting to be worthy of love. That we continue to see “slimming”, “flattering”, and “smoothing” nearly 30 years later? That’s a problem.
Here’s the truth. Fat people, they’re not broken. Fat bodies, they’re literally just bodies that are bigger than other bodies. That’s it. They’re not unattractive, they’re not unhealthy, and they’re not moral in any way. They’re just bodies that lie slightly outside the “norm” of weight (although even that’s debatable tbh).
People Look Different
In fact, people look different in tons of ways. It doesn’t begin and end with fatness. I’ve been told for the longest time I have “great hair”. When Beyonce’s song came out with the memorable line about “Becky with the good hair” it became a bit of a personality trait for me. You’d think this positive praise really got me going, but honestly, it’s just as confusing. My hair is thick but it takes way too long to blow dry. It’s wavy but it’s not curly or straight. And I have… *gasp*… dandruff. If I dare switch the way I’m wearing my hair or forget to shampoo- would I still be safe in my own skin?
That beauty has to look a certain way is just so inherently bullshit. Even from a biological perspective, we need to have species variation or we’d literally just be marrying our cousins in pursuit of perfection. If we all looked the same, how would we tell one another apart? How would we learn from one another? How would we fall in love?
By marketing to “reduce cellulite” or “flatten your nose” or “straighten your teeth” (I’m looking at you vanity-centric orthodontics) we’re forgetting that critical truth that we’re not all supposed to look the same. No one has any authority on beauty- despite what they’ve manipulated you into thinking about yourself.
Gay People Are Normal
I came out of the closet when I was in my 30’s. It’s not that I didn’t know I was attracted to women, it’s just that what it meant to be “queer” in the 90’s wasn’t a risk I wanted to take. Not only was it against my Catholic upbringing but it didn’t align with the “Which NSYNC boy is your main squeeze” quiz inside my Cosmo Girl magazine.
Oh I know, the last three decades have done a lot for the LGBTQ community. I too watched the L Word reboot. But there’s simply no deleting the last two decades from our imagination. No amount of watching Will and Grace is going to make people stop assuming that my wife’s actually just my “really good friend” when we go out to eat.
Marketing to the gender binary in any way is just not going to stand the test of time, I urge you to trust me on this one. Even the heterosexual women out there I know don’t want any more tips on how to be a great housewife or how to take a back seat to their husband’s careers. We all can share a chuckle when we see those ads from magazines in the 1950s.
Making the shift to empathetic marketing means amplifying the real experience of modern folx. That means that LGBTQ folx of all creeds need to not just be seen by the companies that serve them, but they also need to be heard. Don’t just throw a trans woman on your catwalk, make a line of clothing that challenges what it means to be feminine. All the Target Pride merchandise in the world isn’t working if you also aren’t asking yourself why the clothes are even separated into Womens and Mens in the first place. Think bigger guys.
Just the Beginning of Empathetic Marketing
So there you have it, empathetic marketing truths that I want the world to know. I think the list is longer than these three though, and I’m eager to share more. If you’re noticing a company that makes you feel seen and valid, please reach out and let me know. If you’ve actually felt good giving someone your money, they’re the type of business I want to celebrate. Our world can be an amazing place if we just start giving a shit about people, I promise.
